SORSOGON UNITED

When we unite, We make our life better

take it easy….joke muna tayo….

relax muna mga kabayan!!

Hindi lahat ng party ay masaya–3RD PARTY
Hindi lahat ng 13 ay malas–13TH MONTH PAY
Hindi lahat ng negative nakakalungkot- PREGNANCY TEST (whew)
Hindi lahat ng positive ikina-sasaya- -HIV POSITIVE

************ ********* *******
Panibagong sagot sa tanong na: “‘musta lovelife?”
“Eto self supporting.”

************ ********* *******
Anak: Tay , totoo po bang may multo?
Tatay: Anak walang multo! Bakit mo naitanong?
Anak: Sabi kasi ni yaya merong multo!
Tatay: Anak…Tang’ ina naman, wala tayong yaya!

************ ********* *******
Inday: Ate, kailangan daw ipa-EXTRAY ulo ni junior?
Mother: Gaga anong EXTRAY?
Inday: Ano pu ba talaga ati?
Mother: CT SKULL!! Bobo!
************ ********* *******
Bahay ng mag-asawa pinasok ng killer….
Killer: Bago ko patayin lahat ng biktima ko ay kinikilala ko muna..
Ikaw Mrs, ano
pangalan mo?
Mrs: Inday po.
Killer: Napakagandang pangalan, kapangalan mo nanay ko.
Hindi na kita papatayin. Ikaw mr, ano pangalan mo?
Mr: Ah Pedro po, pero my friends call me Inday.

************ ********* *******
Chinese feng shui: If MIRROR at the stairs, may swerte at grasya akyat.

If MIRROR at the door, may swerte at grasya pasok.
If MIRROR at the ceiling, ikaw swerte, nasa loob ka ng MOTEL!

************ ********* *******
Teacher: Juan, give me colors that start with letter M, except maroon!

Juan: Hhmmm…
Maitim!
Mapute!
Maputla!
Madilaw!
Mukhang berde!
Mejo asul!
Mamink-mink!

************ ********* *******
3 Palatandaan na tumatanda ka na:
1) Tuhod na lang ang Tumitigas…
2) Buhok na lang ang Tumatayo.
3) Mukha na lang ang Nagagalit.

************ ********* *******
Mag-ama nakasakay sa barko habang bumabagyo…
Anak: Tay ! Nag-aalala po ako. Parang lulubog ang barko.
Tatay: Tanga! Ba’t ka mag-aalala eh di naman atin ito!

************ ********* *******
Isang binata naputulan ng parehong braso, pagdating sa ospital:
Binata: Doc gamutin nyo po ako, naputol parehong braso ko.
Doc: Mga anong oras ka ba naputulan?
Binata: Mga 10 oras na po.
Doc: 10?! Eh bakit ngayon ka lang pumunta dito?
Binata: HALLER! Mahirap kayang pumara ng jeep!!

************ ********* *******

Nanay: Papauwi ka na ba? Asan ka na?
Anak: Andito po ako sa ospital…
Nanay (umiiyak): Ha? Ano nangyari sayo?!
Anak: Nay, nurse po ako, duty ako ngayon!

************ ********* *******
A large signboard says: “ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY.”
Nakita ng lasenggo… “So what?! Sino ba nagmamadali? “?
************ ********* *******
Misis: Inday, napansin mo ba ang barong ni sir mo lagi na lang may
lipstick?
Maid: Opo nga ma’am! Mukang niloloko na tayo ni sir ah?!?!
************ ********* *******
Jr: Nay, nagloko ba si lolo noong buhay pa sya?
Mom: Pag namatay ako, tatangungin ko sya sa langit.
Jr: Eh kung nasa hell si lolo?
Mom: Tatay mo ang magtatanong!

************ ********* *******
Economics Professor: “Now tell me what is the similarity between your
bank account and a
bra?
Student: “Well, the more in it, the better interest you get.”
************ ********* *******
Wife mad at drunk husband: From now on, lips that touch liquor will never
touch mine…

(Later she said): What are you thinking?
Husband: Trying to decide between 12year old scotch and 50year old lips.

************ ********* ****
Son to dying father: Itay, ano po ang gusto nyo, magpalibing ba o
magpa-cremate?
Ama:Ikaw na ang bahala, anak. I-surprise mo na lang ako.

************ ********* ****
Pacquiao: Honey, boksan mo na yun sweets.
Jinky: Nasan honey? Ang lambing mo naman. May pasalubong ka pa sa akin!

Pacquiao: Yung sweets ng elaw. Ang dilim kaya!

************ ********* ****
Bisaya: Hulaan mo alaga kong hayop nagsimula sa liter I.
DJ: Isda?
Bisaya: Dili man!
Dj: Ibon?
Bisaya: Lapit na.
DJ: Ano nga, siret na!
Bisaya: IGOL.

************ ********* ****
Erap disembarked from a PAL flight and was met by reporter who asked,
“Sir, what do you
think of the economy?”
Erap: I don’t know. I was seated in the first class.
************ ********* ****
Misis: Darling, akala ko ba, mahal mo ako…
Mister: Oo nga! Handa akong mamatay alang-alang sayo.
Misis: Sus! Puro ka naman satsat, hindi mo naman ginagawa!

************ ********* ****
Tony: Ikaw na naman? Tatlong beses mo na akong na-holdup ngayong taon,
ah!
Holdaper: Ganu’n talaga brod. Inaalagaan ang good customer!

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    If you are looking for inspiration or you have some to share, you will find something on the Inspirational Thoughts and More page to meet your needs.

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  • Defending God
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  • May 23, 1934: Police kill famous outlaws Bonnie and Clyde
    On this day in 1934, notorious criminals Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow are shot to death by Texas and Louisiana state police while driving a stolen car near Sailes, Louisiana. Bonnie Parker met the charismatic Clyde Barrow in Texas when she was 19 years old and her husband (she married when she was 16) was serving time in jail for murder. Shortly after they […]

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  • Bicol Tourism Summit promises brighter prospects for the region December 9, 2016
    By Ana-Liza S. MacatangayNAGA CITY, Dec. 9 (PIA) --- “This summit will certainly shed new light on the potential and new tourism products and services, as well as guide stakeholders from the government and private sector for a sustainable and responsible tourism development.”Thus stated Naga City Mayor John Bongat on the brighter prospects that await every B […]
    Philippine Information Agency Regional Office V
  • Bicolanos elated over Pres. Duterte’s visit in Albay December 9, 2016
    LEGAZPI CITY, Dec 9 (PIA) – Bicolanos expressed their elation and eagerness over President Rodrigo Roa Duterte’s visit in the province of Albay to lead groundbreaking of the Bicol International Airport (BIA) in barangay Alobo, Daraga Albay and to grace the 7th year anniversary of the Federalismo Alyansa ng Bicol (FAB) at the Legazpi City Convention Center.Th […]
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  • Children’s month celebration in Bicol highlights valuable role of children in society December 1, 2016
    LEGAZPI CITY, Dec 1 (PIA) – The Regional Council for the Welfare of Children and the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) Bicol led this year’s children’s month celebration in the region themed ““Isulong, Kalidad na Edukasyon Para sa Lahat ng Bata.”“The Children’s Month Celebration is a time to recognize the value of Filipino Children as the m […]
    Philippine Information Agency Regional Office V
  • A-PAD holds disaster-resiliency confab for MSMEs in Bicol December 1, 2016
    By Ana-Liza S. MacatangayNAGA CITY, Dec.1 (PIA) -- A community of entrepreneurs from the Micro, Small and Medium Enterprises (MSMEs), gathered together at the Villa Caceres Hotel here for the 3-day Business Community Planning (BCP) and Disaster Risk Reduction and Management (DRRM) training seminar primarily to mainstream business community and resiliency of […]
    Philippine Information Agency Regional Office V
  • Cebu Pacific now has daily flight in Catanduanes November 30, 2016
    VIRAC, Catanduanes, Nov. 30 (PIA)- Cebu Pacific announced that there will now be daily flights to and from Virac beginning December 18, 2016 until March 2017.According to Roberto L. Jackson, Cebu Pacific station officer in Catanduanes, instead of 4x weekly Airbus Manila-Virac-Manila flight, there will now be an 11x weekly ATR operations.He likewise bared tha […]
    Philippine Information Agency Regional Office V
  • BNC, JJWC, DSWD hold youth meet vs. lowered MACR November 29, 2016
    LEGAZPI CITY, Nov. 29 (PIA) – To culminate the celebration of this year’s National Children’s Month, the Bicol Network for Children (BNC), in cooperation with the Juvenile Justice and Welfare Council (JJWC) and Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) of the Bicol region held the #KalingaHindiKulungan Bicol Youth Meet at Legazpi City.The main purp […]
    Philippine Information Agency Regional Office V
  • Bicol’s “orange Cagsawa” showcases campaign to end violence vs. women November 29, 2016
    By Sally Atento-AlteaLEGAZPI CITY., Nov 29 (PIA) -- It may not seem a good start as heavy rain poured on but it didn’t stop the Bicolanos from joining the call to support the advocacy to end violence against women (VAW) through the "Orange Your Icon for 18 days" campaign launched November 25 in the Bicol region at Cagsawa Park in Albay.Despite the […]
    Philippine Information Agency Regional Office V
  • CamSur guv strengthens fight against drugs through CASUROG Program November 28, 2016
    By Ana-Liza S. MacatangayPILI, CAMARINES SUR, Nov. 28 (PIA) --- Various efforts to curb the ill-effects of illegal drugs have already been implemented by the provincial government of Camarines Sur in response to the directives of President Rodrigo Roa Duterte immediately following his assumption of office in June 30.Governor Miguel “Migz” Villafuerte recapit […]
    Philippine Information Agency Regional Office V
  • DILG’s MASA MASID regional launch in Bicol November 28, 2016
    By Ana-Liza S. MacatangayNAGA CITY, Nov. 28 (PIA) -- With the war on drugs now in full swing across the country, the Department of Interior and Local Government (DILG) inched another step forward to ensure that the campaign will be relentlessly pursued with the help of more stakeholders and volunteers.DILG BIcol has  spearheaded the regional launch of “Mamam […]
    Philippine Information Agency Regional Office V
  • Police, military operatives discover ‘shabu lab’ in Catanduanes November 28, 2016
    VIRAC, Catanduanes, Nov. 28 (PIA) -- Bicol regional director PCSupt. Melvin Ramon G. Buenafe of the Philippine National Police (PNP) has confirmed yesterday, Nov. 27, the discovery of a clandestine shabu laboratory at Barangay Palta Small in this municipality.According to PCSupt. Buenafe, said laboratory was secured in a joint operation of Catanduanes Police […]
    Philippine Information Agency Regional Office V

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  • May 23, 1934: Police kill famous outlaws Bonnie and Clyde
    On this day in 1934, notorious criminals Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow are shot to death by Texas and Louisiana state police while driving a stolen car near Sailes, Louisiana. Bonnie Parker met the charismatic Clyde Barrow in Texas when she was 19 years old and her husband (she married when she was 16) was serving time in jail for murder. Shortly after they […]

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