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Pinoy ka talaga!

You might be interested to know if you’re doin these…that means pinoy ka talaga!







MANNERISM & PERSONALITY TRAITS
  1. You point with your lips
  2. You eat with your hand and have it down as a technique
  3. Your other piece of luggage is a “Balikbayan Box”
  4. You nod your head upwards to greet someone
  5. You put your foot up on your chair and rest your elbows on your knees while you eat
  6. You use a rock to scrub yourself in the shower
  7. You kiss relatives on the cheek when you enter the room
  8. You’re standing next to eight big boxes at the airport
  9. You collect items from hotels or restaurants as “souvenirs”
  10. Your house has a distinctive aroma
  11. You smile for no reason
  12. You flirt by having a foolish grin on your face while raising your eyebrows repeatedly
  13. You go to department stores and try bargain with the price
  14. You scratch your head when you don’t know the answer
  15. You never eat the last morsel of food on the table
  16. You go bowling
  17. You play pusoy or mahjong
  18. You prefer to sit in the shade instead of basking in the sun
  19. You add an unwarranted ‘H’ to your name: Jhun, Bhoy, Rhon
  20. You put your hands together in front of you as if to make a path and say “Excuse, Excuse” when you pass in between people or in front of the TV
  21. Your middle name is your mom’s maiden name
  22. You like everything that is imported or ‘stateside’
  23. Your perfectly comfortable in a squatting position with your elbows resting on your knees
  24. You consistently arrive 30 minutes late for events
  25. You always offer food to your visitors
  26. You put your arm on the other person’s shoulder if he or she is a close friend of yours
  27. You draw a rectangle in the air when asking for the bill, which never fails to baffle the restaurant staff
  28. You don’t sit on the bowl in public toilets, no matter what part of town or if your thighs ache like hell; and you flush the toilet with your feet
  29. You think ‘tuck out’ is the opposite of ‘tuck in’
  30. You tell everyone you meet where you studied and the intricacies of your family tree-just to show them you come from good stock – it never occurs to you that people may not have heard of your university or your clan’s last name
  31. You show up late for work and your excuse is ‘I forgot to on the alarm’ or better yet ‘traffic eh’
  32. You linger over the Tonite and Balita tabloids available at the Star Ferry, but quickly buy the Asian Wall Street Journal when other Filipinos start browsing
  33. Brushing your teeth after lunch in the office lavatory is an unbreakable habit, even if your colleagues can’t bear touching the taps after you’ve drooled and spat all over them
  34. Namedropping is your favorite sport when you meet up with new acquaintances from back home
  35. Toni Braxton, Basia and Swing Out Sister are your idea of party music, you hardly listen to anything else
  36. You sell Amway and Herbalife as sideline
  37. You fight noisily with Cathay Pacific check-in staff over the size of handcarried luggage-which could be anything from oversized suitcases to major appliances
  38. You underdeclare your income when you pay Phil tax, even if it’s peculiar that a consultant is paid little more than a domestic helper’s wages
  39. At Immigration, when they call out ‘Maria’, you and 46 other women stand up
  40. When they play ‘Anak’ anywhere, your chest swells with pride and say ‘that’s Filipino’
  41. You think taking a shower and taking a bath are the same thing
  42. You use shopping bags as garbage bags
  43. You use laundry detergent to wash your dishes
  44. You use print rags from an imported fashion magazine as cover of your textbooks and notebooks
  45. You enjoy watching Pinoy action films with the same plot: Hero and villain are mortal enemies. Hero’s family’s killed by villain. Hero seeks revenge. Hero meets bar girl with sad tale of past love. She comes from a poor family, that’s why she’s working in the bar. They fall in love. Villain kidnaps girl, threatens to kill her if hero won’t stop harassing him and his henchmen. Hero rescues girl, they run away. Chase goes on in a dilapidated car. Hero finally kills villain and police arrive. Hero and girl live happily ever after.

VOCABULARY:

  1. You say ‘for take out’ instead of ‘to go’ (‘take away’ for Singaporean)
  2. You ‘open’ and ‘close’ the lights
  3. You ask for ‘Colgate’ instead of toothpaste
  4. You ask for ‘pentel pen’ instead of a ballpen or pen
  5. You refer to refrigerator as ‘ref’, ‘Frigidare’, or “pridyider”
  6. You say ‘kodakan’ instead of take a picture
  7. You order ‘McDonalds’ instead of hamburger, which you pronounce ‘ham-boor-jer’
  8. You say ‘Ha?’ instead of ‘what?’
  9. You say ‘Hoy!’ to get someone’s attention
  10. You answer when someone yells ‘Hoy!’
  11. You turn around when you hear ‘pssst’
  12. You say ‘Cutex’ instead of nail polish
  13. You say ‘for a while’ instead of ‘Please hold’ on the telephone
  14. You say ‘he’ when you mean ‘she’ and vice versa
  15. Your sneeze sounds like ‘Ahh-ching’ instead of ‘Ahh-choo’
  16. You say ‘Aray’ instead of ‘ouch’
  17. You make acronyms for phrases: ‘OA’ = overacting, ‘DOM’ = dirty old man, and ‘TNT’ for… You know
  18. You say ‘aircon’ instead of ‘A/C’ or airconditioner
  19. You pronounce the ff. words: ‘Hippopo-TA-mus’, ‘com-FOR-table’, ‘Bro-CO-li’, and ‘Montgo-marry Ward’
  20. You say ‘brown-out’ instead of ‘black-out’
  21. You say ‘Ay’ or “Uy” instead of ‘oops’
  22. You start with ‘actually’ when you’re trying to explain something
  23. You say ‘comfort room’ instead of bathroom
  24. You pronounce ‘fax’ as the four letter word
  25. Ano’ and ‘di ba’ regularly slip out during conversations
  26. You say, ‘my girlfriend will fetch,’ when foreigners think fetching is for dogs
  27. You try hard to speak English and when you don’t know what to say next, you say ‘you know…’
  28. You change your accent according to the person you’re talking to
  29. When someone’s pregnant, you say ‘she’s on the way’
  30. You say ‘ayyss—!’ in kolehiyala accent to show any kind of extreme emotion – ‘ayyy, shheeettt, nag-split na sila? ‘ayysss, shheeettt talaga?
  31. When somebody gives you a compliment, instead of saying thank you, you say ‘hindi naman’

HOME FURNISHINGS

  1. You use ‘walis tambo’ and ‘walis ting-ting’ as opposed to a conventional broom
  2. You own a karaoke machine
  3. You own a piano that no one ever plays
  4. You have a portrait of the Last Supper hanging on your dining room wall
  5. You have a ‘tabo’ in your bathroom
  6. You have a rose garden
  7. Your house is cluttered with ‘burloloys’
  8. You display a big laughing Buddha for good luck
  9. You have a Santo Nino shrine in your living room
  10. You own a ‘barrel man’ (schwing!) from Baguio
  11. You have ‘parol’ displayed during the holidays
  12. You cover your living room furniture with bed sheets
  13. Your lampshades still have plastic covers on them
  14. You have plastic runners to cover your carpets
  15. You refer to VCR as ‘Betamax’ even if it’s a VHS
  16. You own a rice dispenser
  17. You own a turbo broiler
  18. You own a lamp with oil that drips down to the strings
  19. You have a giant wooden spoon and fork hanging in your dining room
  20. You own Capiz shell chandeliers, lamps or placemats
  21. You have a pair of wooden tinikling dancers on your wall
  22. You have ‘Weapons of Moroland’ shield hanging on your living room wall
  23. Your wall to wall carpeting includes the ceiling
  24. You own one of those fiber-optic flower lamps
  25. Your microwave, washer, TV, VCR, computer, printer, toaster and doorknobs are hidden under quilted covers
  26. You have the entire Apo Hiking Society collection, plus maybe some Tito Mina and Pops Fernandez thrown in
  27. There’s a pail in your bathroom, just in case there’s a water shortage or the toilet won’t flush
  28. You have fly swatter in your kitchen
  29. You have multiplex tapes
  30. You buy song hit mixes like “New Wave Disco Hits”

CLOTHING AND APPEARANCE

  1. There’s Angelique eyeliner and Johnson’s Baby Powder compacts lurking in your makeup drawer
  2. You use Perla soap on your face
  3. You have several pairs of ‘tsinelas’ at your doorstep
  4. You deliberately flaunt your pager and cellphone
  5. You find dried-up morsels or rice stuck to your shirt
  6. You check labels on clothes to see where it’s made
  7. You hang your clothes out to dry
  8. You’ve had the same bobbed hairstyle since high school
  9. You wear fake or original Tommy Hilfiger shirts in bold and shouting prints
  10. Your next goal is to buy Polo or Burberry’s bag
  11. Your ponytail ribbon covers half your head
  12. You wore kung fu shoes in high school
  13. You use an umbrella for a shade on hot summer days
  14. You play basketball in you chinellas (slippers)

AUTOMOBILES & DRIVING

  1. Your car chirps like a bird or plays a tune in reverse
  2. You have a rosary on your car rear view mirror
  3. Your car horn can make three or more different sounds
  4. You have those air fresheners in a bottle
  5. You own a Mercedes Benz and call it a ‘Chedeng’
  6. Your car has curb feelers on it
  7. You have a fake banana display attached to your car window
  8. You own a huge van conversion
  9. You do not try to avoid pedestrians
  10. A traffic cop says “your license expired eight years ago”
  11. A road sign that says “Dangerous curve, Death toll 19” causes you to make another accident
  12. For you a yellow light means ” go paster”
  13. A traffic cop is known to you as a “crocodile”
  14. You refer to a female driver as a “lesbian”
  15. You insist on fitting 8 people into a taxi, much to the distress of the driver, and say, ‘we’re making ‘kandong’

FAMILY & FRIENDS

  1. You were raised believing every Filipino was an aunt and uncle
  2. Your dad or uncle was in the Navy
  3. Your mom or sister is a Nurse
  4. You get smelling kisses from your grandma
  5. Your parents call each other mommy and daddy
  6. You know someone with a name that repeats itself, i.e. Jon-Jon, Len-Len, Jong-Jong, or Bing-Bing
  7. You have aunt & uncle named Baby, Girlie or Boy
  8. You know a veteran dynamite fisherman called “Lefty”
  9. You have a dog named whitie, blackie or bantay
  10. Your parents call each other ‘Mahal’ and they call you ‘Anak’ or by your wonderful Filipino nickname you’ve had all your life (Jang, Cici, Meng, Choy-Choy, etc) ….and you KNOW they’re mad at each other or at you when they use actual names
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  • March 23, 1839: OK enters national vernacular
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