The next time you get a rejection letter from a hoped-for employer or publisher, just send them the following:
Dear [name of the person who signed the rejection letter],
This is to acknowledge that I have received the rejection letter that was posted to me on Monday of last week.
I gave your letter long and careful consideration. Unfortunately, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept it at this moment.
You will understand, I am sure, that there are always a very large number of rejection letters circulations at the turn of the year when bonuses are paid. Furthermore, the current economic climate has increased the number of no vacancy slips sent out.
I myself appear to be a particularly popular in this regard, having this year received many rejection letters from extremely impressive companies.
Clearly, I am unable to accept all of them, so while I thank you for sending it to me, I regretfully inform you that I have to reject it.
Please do not take this personally. There was nothing at all wrong with your letter. But it does not coincide with my particular needs at this time.
In this regard, I will be starting work at your office on Monday morning of next week at 9am precisely.
I wish you every success in rejecting other candidates. Best of luck. See you on Monday.