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A FATHER’S MESSAGE FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE

4 days ago by

Ever wondered what it is like to have Death staring straight in your eyes? Is there anything you will like to do or change before you draw your last breath? What if you have a family with young children and perhaps some precious time left? What would you do?

Here’s a sad but true story to be shared, about a loving dad and husband, who did what he could in the little time he was left for his family. From their country cottage filled with memories of Mandy Flanagan’s late husband Paul, she shared with us their story.

Paul, a teacher, who died of cancer at the age of 45 in November 2009, passionately believed his children, Thomas and Lucy, should have more than just fading photographs to remember him by. For the children were only five and one-and-half years old at the time of his passing. “There was nothing more important to Paul than being the best father he could be,” says Mandy.

 

“When he knew he was dying, there was no time for self-pity. He became absolutely focused on doing whatever he could to continue being a good dad to them throughout the years, even though he wouldn’t be here in person.”

Amongst his preparation included letters, filmed messages, future birthday presents and his personal chest of favorite books. “Each book is accompanied by a note to Thomas and Lucy explaining why Paul loved it, and how much he hopes they will too when they’re old enough to read it,” explains Mandy.

But perhaps all these gifts pales in comparison to a document titled “On finding fulfillment”, accidentally discovered on his laptop by Mandy. “I opened it and, with tears rolling down my cheeks, I discovered his bullet-pointed code to living a good and happy life,” says Mandy. And this list of 28 instructions was the very way Paul lived his life.

Addressing his children who were too young to understand the tragedy that was unfolding, Paul writes, ”In these last few weeks, following my terminal diagnosis, I have searched my soul and heart to find ways in which I can reach out to you as you grow up.

“I’ve been thinking about the matters in life that are important, and the values and aspirations that make people happy and successful. In my view, and you may well have your own ideas by now, the formula is pretty simple.

“The three most important virtues are: Loyalty, integrity and moral courage. If you aspire, friends will respect you, employers will retain you, and your father will be immensely proud of you. I am therefore giving you several pieces of advice. These are the principles on which I have tried to build my life and they are exactly those that I would have encouraged you to embrace, had I been able to.” “I love you very much. Never forget that.”

“He also wrote that they should never give up, and he certainly never did. He fought so bravely, so courageously, right to the end.”

 

Having been first diagnosed with skin cancer in 2004, where a birthmark on his chest had become malignant. The cancer was removed in November that year when their son Thomas was only a few months old. And after years of regular follow-ups, he was given the all clear in January 2008 when Mandy was expecting Lucy.

However a swelling that appears in May 2008 proved the cancer had spread to his lymph glands in his arms and neck shortly after. Even surgery and radiotherapy was not able to halt its progression. By March 2009, the cancer had spread to his brain and his condition was terminal.

“He never pitied himself,” says Mandy. “The diagnosis, and perhaps the drugs he was on, triggered a sort of mania. He suddenly had so much energy. While I lay awake upstairs worrying, Paul would work through the nights, determined to get his affairs in order.”

Having meticulously organized the family finances, arranged his own funeral, buying presents for their children, their dining room was soon filled piles of shoeboxes filled with paperwork, hand-written letters and DVD messages for his family and friends.

With Lucy christened last summer, she now has one godmother and nine godfathers. “He wanted his friends to have a permanent tie to his family, I think,” says Mandy. “And if Lucy couldn’t have her father, a fantastic team of godfathers was the very least she deserved.”

With his passing at home, some eight months after his terminal diagnosis, Mandy was certain he’ll be able to rest peacefully knowing that he had left the best legacy any father could. “When some people are told they have just a few months to live, they decide their life won’t be complete until they’ve bungee-jumped off Sydney Harbor Bridge or seen the Grand Canyon. But that wasn’t Paul. All that was important to him was right here. He lived and died by his own rules, and I know he had found his fulfillment.”

We all have a finite amount of time in this world, some less than others. And it is not the amount of time, rather how we use it which truly matters. Ever so often we get absorbed by our daily rat race and tend to take our loved ones for granted. Perhaps it is time we slow down and re-examine ourselves before it is too late.

A FATHER’S RULES FOR FINDING FULFILLMENT

Be courteous, be punctual, always say please and thank you, and be sure to hold your knife and fork properly. Others take their cue on how to treat you from your manners.

Be kind, considerate and compassionate when others are in trouble, even if you have problems of your own. Others will admire your selflessness and will help you in due course.

Show moral courage. Do what is right, even if that makes you unpopular. I always thought it important to be able to look at myself in the shaving mirror every morning and not feel guilt or remorse. I depart this world with a pretty clear conscience.

Show humility. Stand your ground but pause to reflect on what the other side are saying, and back off when you know you are wrong. Never worry about losing face. That only happens when you are pig-headed.
Learn from your mistakes. You will make plenty so use them as a learning tool. If you keep making the same mistake or run into a problem, you’re doing something wrong.

Avoid disparaging someone to a third party; it is only you who will look bad. If you have a problem with someone, tell them face to face.

Hold fire! If someone crosses you, don’t react immediately. Once you say something it can never be taken back, and most people deserve a second chance.

Have fun. If this involves taking risks, so be it. If you get caught, hold your hands up.

Give to charity and help those who are less fortunate than yourselves: it’s easy and so rewarding.

Always look on the upside! The glass is half full, never half empty. Every adversity has a silver lining if you seek it out.

Make it your instinct always to say ‘yes’. Look for reasons to do something, not reasons to say no. Your friends will cherish you for that.

Be canny: you will get more of what you want if you can give someone more of what they desire. Compromise can be king.

Always accept a party invitation. You may not want to go, but they want you there. Show them courtesy and respect.

Never ever let a friend down. I would bury bodies for my friends, if they asked me to . . . which is why I have chosen them carefully.

Always tip for good service. It shows respect. But never reward poor service. Poor service is insulting.

Always treat those you meet as your social equal, whether they are above or below your station in life. For those above you, show due deference, but don’t be a sycophant.

Always respect age, as age equals wisdom.

Be prepared to put the interests of your sibling first.

Be proud of who you are and where you come from, but open your mind to other cultures and languages. When you begin to travel (as I hope you will), you’ll learn that your place in the world is both vital and insignificant. Don’t get too big for your breeches.

Be ambitious, but not nakedly so. Be prepared to back your assertions with craftsmanship and hard work.

Live every day to its full: do something that makes you smile or laugh, and avoid procrastination.

Give of your best at school. Some teachers forget that pupils need incentives. So if your teacher doesn’t give you one, devise your own.

Always pay the most you can afford. Never skimp on hotels, clothing, shoes, make-up or jewellery. But always look for a deal. You get what you pay for.

Never give up! My two little soldiers have no dad, but you are brave, big-hearted, fit and strong. You are also loved by an immensely kind and supportive team of family and friends. You make your own good fortune, my children, so battle on.

Never feel sorry for yourself, or at least don’t do it for long. Crying doesn’t make things better.

Look after your body and it will look after you.

Learn a language, or at least try. Never engage a person abroad in conversation without first greeting them in their own language; by all means ask if they speak English!

And finally, cherish your mother, and take very good care of her.

I love you both with all my heart.
Daddy x

 

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Filed under: Encouragement, Inspiration, Motivation, , ,

Simple Self Empowerment Exercise

Here’s an eye opening self empowerment exercise to help you take a quick inventory of your values, priorities and goals. It’s a great little ‘check up’ to see where your priorities are taking you, and if they are helping you travel in the direction of your dreams.

“When you realise that every action you take
is based on your own priorities,
you realise the vast power that is in your own hands.”

YOU are the WIND

Just work through the 6 Steps below. As you’ll see at the end of the exercise, you can go back to number 3 and work through this exercise in any area of your life.

1.  What are 10 of the top values you have been honouring in your life? Your highest values are primary qualities that you most want to have in your life. You base your decisions on these, and they determine your behaviours, how you relate to others, and the actions you take. Identifying these will help you to appreciate your existing self empowerment… it’s you who gets to decide what values you want to live by.

There are hundreds of possible values, from achievement to zeal, and every letter in between. List 10 that speak loudly to you.

2.  Prioritize the 10 highest values you have identified, with #1 being the most important to you.

3. Now take a little inventory of where your life is at in this moment regarding ‘a close personal relationship with a significant other’. Examples of taking a brief stock in this category might be:

  1. I’m in a long term loving relationship and am very happy;
  2. I’m in a long term relationship and not very happy;
  3. I’m single and want a happy relationship;
  4. I’m single and very happily so

4. Then browse over your list of 10 top values and see if you can identify which of your chosen values might be contributing to your ‘present personal relationship status’.

5. Next, state what your optimum ‘personal relationship status’ goal would be in a perfect world.

6. Now, think about how your values might re-organize or change if you want to give relationship priorities greater weight. Would doing so be helpful to achieve your highest vision of a personal relationship in your life? In consideration of this, you might also like to review some literature on what is important in the type of relationship you envision. ex. Love as a Way of Life by Gary Chapman

  • Income and financial
  • Physical and health
  • Mind and learning
  • Social community
  • Spiritual experience

When you do these exercises, you’ll be following the threads that show you the reasons as to why your life looks as it does. You can be thrilled to see these connections, and to know they are in your power to change!
“I’ve gone through life believing in the strength and competence of others; never in my own. Now, dazzled, I discover that my capacities are real.
It’s like finding a fortune in the lining of an old coat.”
Joan Mills

Source: http://www.inspired-personal-development.com/

Filed under: Encouragement, Inspiration, Motivation,

My Dad is a Broke OFW (An open letter to all OFW’s)

Kumusta na kabayan!

First, I would like to thank you for being an OFW. My dad used to be an OFW and I know the many sacrifices you are enduring right now just so that you can provide the best for your family. I admire you, I appreciate you and in my book, you are a true Pinoy hero.

Second, I would like to help you. I would like to help you in the same way I helped Bobet, a former OFW. Under my coaching, from being broke and in debt, in just 12 months Bobet became a millionaire. Bobet is in fact back in the Philippines. He no longer needed to work as a nurse here in the U.S. He no longer misses his wife and kids. He can now kiss and hug them everyday. He has achieved in 1 year what most OFWs will never achieve in their lifetime. How did he do it?

I taught Bobet the Secrets of Wealth. And if you want to be like Bobet, read on because I want to teach you the Secrets of Wealth as well. But there’s a catch. You will only understand the Secrets of Wealth by understanding how my dad, an OFW like you became broke.

I’ve experienced as a child what I call a roller coaster of wealth. In Tagalog, we call this “Gulong ng Palad” (Wheel of Fortune) because there are times we’re on top of the world and there are times we’re at the bottom. When my dad comes back from abroad it is like a fiesta. The alcohol is overflowing. The whole town seems to be at our door step and my dad’s pasalubongs never seem to run out. Packets of cigarette. Bottles of whisky. Chocolates for the kids. Jewelry for my mom. It is like we’re millionaires every time my dad goes home.

But we’re millionaires only for a short time.

Two weeks later, the money’s gone. My mom and dad start to argue. And my dad seriously considers going back to the ship. He borrows money from his mom – my grandmother (we call “Nanay”). One time, my mom and dad even asked me to borrow money from Nanay because both of them were already turned down. I guess that tactic worked because Nanay couldn’t say NO to his apo and we ate dinner that night.

Then things turn for the worse. The many friends who cheerfully greeted my dad’s homecoming are no longer around. Instead, creditors start hounding us, pounding at our door. At 8 years old, I am taught to lie and tell the creditor my mom is not around even though she is just there beside me kneeling and praying the creditor goes away.

From feeling like millionaires for a few days to being dead broke 2 weeks later – describing it as a roller coaster or a wheel of fortune is an understatement. My mom and dad managed to squander all their savings and more.

So 2 months later, my dad is back at the airport again. We have tears in our eyes once again as we bid him goodbye. My dad would have to work hard on a ship 10 months in a year mostly to pay off our greedy lenders and creditors.

My dad tried to invest – buying a tricycle but the business became bankrupt as fast as it was started. My dad recalled that tricycle with pride in his voice “It was the first stainless steel tricycle in our town”. He was proud of the product but he did not take the time to understand the business.

There were many days our home is literally dark because we couldn’t pay for the electric bill. Once, as a 9-year old boy, I was devastated when I saw my books have been sold so that we will have food on the table that day. Then the worst happened: we lost our home to foreclosure because there was no money left to pay for the mortgage.

Is the story above familiar to you? I bet most OFWs have the same lifestyle cycle as my dad. Rich one day then broke another.

Have you discovered the Secrets to Wealth in my dad’s story?

At its core, it really is very simple. You will be wealthy if you do the exact opposite of what my dad did.

Don’t waste your money by throwing a lavish home coming party for the whole town – SAVE your money instead. Have a small gathering with your family and loved ones. Your children will appreciate it more because they want your presence more than your presents. Get into the habit of saving at least 10-20% of everything you earn. The earlier you get that habit the wealthier you will become or the faster you will become a millionaire.

Bobet saves 50% of what he earns. No wonder he has become a millionaire in only 12 months.

But you cannot save your way to millions. You have to learn how to invest your savings. My aunt who used to work as a bank clerk, who earned 1/10th of what my dad earned as a seaman is now a multi-millionaire because she learned to invest her money. Your savings must go to “work” for you. They must produce good returns or profit. But you cannot stop there. You have to reinvest your profits so that your wealth can grow exponentially.

My aunt started a business butchering chickens in the wet market (palengke). She saved half of her profits and lived off the other half. She then put her savings to buy a store. The profits from the store and the chicken business were then invested into a farm. The profits from the farm, the store and the chicken business were then invested into a resort. The profits from the resort, the farm, the store and the chicken business were then invested into apartment buildings.

As a result of saving, investing, and reinvesting her profits, my aunt becomes richer and richer even as she works less and less while my dad because of spending, borrowing, then spending becomes poorer and poorer even as he works harder.

The choice is yours. Bobet chose to become rich and he put in the time to learn and apply the Secrets of Wealth. Bobet is now in the Philippines employing 30 people because of the businesses he started. 30 families now rely on Bobet because he applied the Secrets of Wealth and Bobet is proving you can become wealthy even back home.

I like you to be wealthy my friend. But the choice is up to you.

Dedicated to your success,

Trace

P.S. Please forward this to every OFW you know – in fact, forward it to everyone you know for that matter. Everyone needs to learn and apply the Secrets of Wealth.

Trace Trajano is a real estate investor, author of the best selling book “Think Rich – Quick” and a wealthcoach to students around the world. His vision is to create directly or indirectly 1 Million Pinoy Millionaires worldwide by the year 2020. Trace himself is an OFW living in the Mason Ohio with his wife and 2 kids. For more information go to http://BuyFirstDeal.com

—–

To our financial freedom!

Jay Castillo
Real Estate Investor
Real Estate Broker License #: 20056
Blog: http://www.foreclosurephilippines.com
Social Network: http://foreclosurephilippines.ning.com
Mobile: +639178843882
E-mail: ph.investor [at] gmail [dot] com

Filed under: Business, Business Ideas for OFW Families, Financial Literacy, Kwentong OFW, Motivation, OFW Corner, OFW Livelihood Training, ,

DO YOU WANT TO GO INTO BUSINESS?

WHY GO INTO BUSINESS

Entrepreneurship is a way of life. Being entrepreneurial means being able to identify, start, and maintain a viable and profitable business, particularly a small enterprise.

People spend most of their lives working for someone else. Some people eventually rise to positions of wealth and power, while the rest languish in unchallenging and low-paying jobs. On the other hand, there are a select few who strike it out on their own rather than work for others. They put up their own enterprise.

You may ask: “Why should I risk my resources in an unpredictable business when I could hold a stable job with permanent tenure and an assurance of a regular monthly income without any risk?” In other words, why be an entrepreneur rather than an employee?

Having your own business has tremendous rewards, but be sure to weigh prospective returns against potential risks and losses.

REWARDS OF GOING INTO BUSINESS OR ENTREPRENEURSHIP

Having unlimited opportunity to make money

When you have your own business, you will most certainly have unlimited potential to earn money. How much money you earn depends on the time and effort you put into your enterprise. Successful entrepreneurs have earned their wealth and prestige through hard work and by having the right product for the right market at the right time.

Being your own boss

As manager of your business, you make the decisions for your enterprise and take full responsibility for these. The quality of these decisions will translate into either gain or loss for your business. Being your own boss means you are in control of your future. You have a better grasp of what you want to be.

Tapping your creativity

A business usually starts out as an idea. You will have the opportunity to harness this creativity and turn your idea into products and processes.

Overcoming challenges and finding fulfillment

Starting a business is by itself an accomplishment. Running a business tests an entrepreneur’s capability in securing and managing resources. How well a business turns out depends on the owner’s ability to face challenges and overcome difficulties.

Helping others

In the process of running a business, an entrepreneur employs workers, and pays them income which improves their lives. An entrepreneur who succeeds and grows also helps suppliers, sub-contractors, dealers and other businesses connected to him succeed and grow too.

Building an entrepreneurial legacy

A business can be a lasting legacy to the family. It can ensure employment for some members of the family. It can create an enterprising culture than can be handed down through the generations.

Source:  

Department of Trade and Industry

Filed under: Business, Business Ideas for OFW Families, Livelihood, Motivation, Negosyo Tips, People who inspired Us,

To all of you who feel like giving up

I was actually looking  for inspirational video updates in youtube. But what I found here was a short video clip by a guy named “NICK VUJICIC” . He got no arms & legs  but he  always said  no worries 🙂 . Truly GOD is amazing, He will give us someone like Nick to inspired us. He could transforms weeknesses into strengths, tragedies to blessings and failures to miracles. I guess, its not a coincidence for me coz I’m  having  trouble finding that strength too.

To Nick Vujicic, Thanks a lot for sharing this video to us. You’ re truly an inspiration &  blessings to someone who are suffering from the same!! LONG LIVE!!

Kung natumba, bangon guiraray!! watch it for yourself guys!

Filed under: Encouragement, Inspiration, Motivation, People who inspired Us, , , , ,

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